See Resistance. Manage Resistance.
“When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
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Yes, a certain amount of resistance is to be accepted and even welcomed as a tonic and regulator to the process of change. But too much resistance feels terrible, and if unaddressed it can run rampant and kill your change efforts.
Managing resistance is a leadership dilemma. While there are no simple solutions, you’ll need a strategy to minimize its blocking effects in every change effort you pursue. One of the easiest approaches is to simply broaden involvement in your change process. In short: Reach out to the people who are most likely to resist before they have a chance to resist. Engage them early and they may be less likely to resist in the long run. Yes, it takes time and effort to connect to more stakeholders, but the benefits can far outweigh the cost.
When resistance inevitably appears, it pays to know what you’re looking at. Doing so isn’t always easy, since it often emerges through subtle behaviors that can be difficult to parse. Take time to identify these patterns so you have the best options to support your desired outcomes and the people around you.
Again, there are two models you might consider. Author and consultant Rick Mauer has categorized resistance into three levels, each of which suggests a different response.
People expressing Level 1 Resistanceoften frame their objections as confusion about facts, figures, and ideas; concern that critical information is missing; and/or disagreement over how to interpret data. They’ll say, “I just don’t get it!” A wise response is to provide the information they’re seeking, while avoiding defensiveness as your data gets challenged.
People expressing Level 2 Resistancereact from their emotions, often expressing powerful fears about what could happen. When they complain, “I just don’t like it,” be willing to legitimize and explore their feelings, and perhaps share your own ambivalence and anxieties. It’s counterproductive (and potentially explosive) to respond to people who have Level 2 Resistance by pushing more facts and figures, or by trying to assign blame for slowing the process.
Level 3 Resistanceis marked by mistrust and suspicion; in a sense, such people are saying, “I don’t like you” (although they probably won’t voice it so clearly). Perhaps you represent people they don’t like, or you may be judged for the last time someone tried to do something similar. For this, there is no simple work-around: Avoid anger, defensiveness, or the temptation to discount their experiences. It may take time to prove yourself as a trustworthy colleague and partner.
Gestalt theory offers a richer and more complex approach to resistance, describing seven distinct sets of behaviors that both help and hinder a group’s effectiveness.
Projection: You might observe an individual attributing their objections or actions to another person or group, ascribing thoughts and motives to others without data. You might hear, “They are really angry about your decision,” “I know the boss won’t like that,” or “I’ve seen this before…” Such behavior can facilitate empathy and support the status quo (whether that’s helpful or not), but it can also lead to blaming, or block awareness of blind spots. In response, call attention to the behavior. Or ask the other person to make an “I” statement instead of “you” or “they” statements, and to take responsibility for individual actions.
Desensitization occurs when a person shuts down in moments of conflict or stress. You might hear, “Let’s talk about this later,” or see a person checking out, staring at a phone, or engaging in side conversations. He or she might try to shift focus to another topic, or disparage an issue as irrelevant or too sensitive. This kind of resistance protects people from being overwhelmed, especially by risky topics; it also blocks access to information and connections to one another, and tamps down energy. When you see it, try pointing out the behavior, or inviting interest in smaller issues as a way to ease into a difficult topic.
Introjection is an uncritical obedience to rules or limits imposed by outside forces over the interests of those who are present. Look for words like, “should,” “must,” and “need to,” and people making absolute declarations about what can and cannot be done. Introjection can support safety and harmony, but it also blocks energy and decision-making. In response, you can call attention to the behavior, invite the person to separate “I” from “you” and “they,” and by help each person speak for themselves.
Retroflection is when a person blocks herself/himself from expressing their own views, sometimes in mid-sentence. You may hear self-talk like, “I shouldn’t have said that,” or “What am I doing here?” In the extreme, you might see physical clues like a person biting their fingernails, excessive grooming, or other socially questionable behaviors. Retroflection supports survival in a hostile environment, but it also blocks personal connections , and silences voices. In response, try calling attention to the behavior, encouraging small and safe revelations, and/or emphasizing the consequences of inaction.
When you see a repeated lack of dissent or divergent views, you may be observing confluence, individuals going to excessive lengths to agree or submerge differences. Listen for boasts like, “We always agree!” or “We’re more like friends than co-workers.” Such false harmony can feel soothing, but confluence deprives the group of needed views and feedback. In response, point out the pattern, and support people in “owning” small differences of opinion.
Deflection is avoiding key issues by changing the subject and shifting responsibility. Deflection can come in the form of enjoyable distractions like as jokes or humorous asides. Or you may hear shockingly strong language, which draws attention to itself. Conversely, vague, abstract, or indirect language can lull people into boredom and/or confusion. This can lighten the mood or diffuse tension, but it can also block attention to important needs. Try commenting on the behaviors, and gently refocus attention on key issues.
Egotism appears when individuals focus excessively on themselves and their own actions, and express reluctance to learn or accept help from others. This can promote one's individual identity, but it also blocks access to new ideas and learning, and can slip into narcissism or lack of empathy. To manage egotism, call attention to the behaviors, move the focus to the wider environment, or move the focus away from the individual by exploring how others are experiencing the same situation.
Being a successful change agent means developing an acceptance of resistance, an ability to distinguish its different forms, and facility with the tools needed for its effective management. Whether you prefer the insights of Gestalt or Mauer, it pays to hone your awareness of resistance in yourself and others, and explore ways to incorporate that learning into your change efforts.
